Healthy
Relationships
My
mission is to create peace on Earth by changing the dynamics of relationships
between men and women from adversarial to partnership. I intend to do
this by increasing understanding, compassion, respect, acceptance, and
appreciation between the two genders. The two best tools I have discovered
for achieving this mission are Non-Violent Communication (aka The Language
of Compassion) and understanding the differences between men and women,
at the instinctual level (PAX Programs, Inc.). Extensive training with
both of these organizations, in addition to my background in psychology,
personal growth, twelve steps, conflict resolution, healing, and experience
in intentional community, has enabled me to offer services to individuals,
couples, groups, organizations, and communities: To schedule empathy,
coaching, mediation, workshops, classes, and practice groups in NVC
and/or Gender Dynamics, call 707-792-0740.
Non-Violent
Communication
I
have been studying Non-Violent Communication (NVC) since 1996. NVC is
a profound tool and spiritual practice for thinking and communicating
in ways that support connection at the heart level. Whether this connection
is within one's self or with others, it increases the likelihood that
our needs will be met in a way that doesn't cost others or us in the
process.
Non-Violent
Communication is a needs-based model, developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg.
There are two parts and four components to the model. The two parts
are honestly expressing and empathically receiving (both without blame
or criticism).
The fours components of the models are:
Observations - what a video camera sees or hears; not evaluations, judgments,
or analyses
Feelings - not thoughts or images
Needs (universal) - not strategies or actions
Requests - specific, positive, present moment, do-able questions we
can ask of ourselves or another person; not demands.
Areas
where Non-Violent Communication most frequently contributes to social
change include: the criminal justice system (restorative justice, rather
than punitive justice), our educational system, through parenting, and
through relationships with self and others.
The
NVC approach to mediation, which differs from "standard" mediation,
initially focuses on identifying the universal needs (which all humans
have) underlying the conflict. Once both parties can see each other's
needs, they can work together to create mutually satisfying strategies
to meet those needs. The focus is on creating an empathic connection
between the parties. Out of that empathic connection, win-win solutions
emerge.
Benefits
of NVC mediation, coaching, empathy, and /or conflict resolution might
include:
·
Increased emotional intelligence, clarity, self-understanding, and self-compassion
· Inspiration and encouragement of behaviors that support thriving,
rather than alienation or destruction
· Greater confidence and trust in self and others
· Increased productivity and enjoyment
· Creation of win-win solutions that consider the needs of all
parties
· Creatively and collaboratively expanding options that serve
needs
· Increased openness and ability to understand others' perspectives
· Honestly and directly communicating with compassion
· Seeing the beauty in others no matter how they communicate
· Seeing the beauty in others no matter how different their point-of-view
· An uncommon depth of listening, at the level of feelings and
needs
· Improved relationships with self, partner, children, parents,
friends, co-workers, politicians, ex-partners, siblings, neighbors,
roommates, etc.
Workshops, classes, and practice groups in NVC may allow more confidence,
more consistency, and/or more natural utilization of the following skills
and/or aware nesses:
·
An increased range of feelings expressed
· Taking ownership of and/or responsibility for feelings
· Greater ability to guess, rather than assume, the feelings
of another
· Ability to hear the request behind other people's needs
· Increased ability to inform your listener how you want them
to hear you before you speak, thus increasing your odds of getting what
you need
· Increased awareness of and ability to communicate what you
would like from another in each moment
· Increased ability to invite dialogue when speaking
· Increased awareness of tone of voice, volume, speed, and number
of words used to self-express
· Increased willingness and commitment to seek connection for
the purpose of mutual satisfaction
· Increased ability, willingness, and patience to hear another
while needing to be heard
· Recognition of how feelings shift when wants are satisfied
or not satisfied
· Increased awareness of and compassion for internal dialogue
· Greater confidence and ability to interact with others
· Greater presence and/or "being ness" with self and
others
To
schedule empathy, coaching, mediation, workshops, classes, and practice
groups in NVC, call 707-792-0740.
Gender Dynamics
Fourteen
years of researching men led Alison Armstrong, founder of PAX Programs,
Inc., to believe that men and women compliment each other perfectly.
Historically, women have been completely dependent upon men, making
partnership impossible. The feminist movement gave women freedom, power
and independence. Now, partnership between men and women is possible
as never before. In fact, relationships between men and women can now
be celebrations of satisfaction and partnership. Are you fascinated
by the differences between the masculine and feminine? Do you want greater
harmony in all the relationships in your life? Learning about these
dynamics can foster understanding, compassion, humor, and greater harmony
between men and women, whether it's your life-partner, business associate,
brother, father, sister, or mother.